


Mother of All Coincidences

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Aggressive Emma, Breast Fucking, Explicit Language, F/F, Femslash, Gratuitous Smut, Horny Regina, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, NSFW, Oral Sex, Porn IS the plot, Porn With Plot, Pornography without pictures (You have been warned), Pornstar Emma, Prompt Fic, Sexual Humor, Smut, Swan Queen - Freeform, SwanQueen Fanfiction Facebook Group (Once Upon a Time), got carried away, sexually graphic scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-08 22:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based on the following prompt: “Okay so here’s what I want, imagine this: Regina is watching porn at night. Emma is the actress she sees in one video and then the next day Henry brings her home to SB.”





	1. Officer Nolan

**Author's Note:**

> The usual disclaimers apply: I own nothing and all mistakes are my own. (This poor thing is probably riddled with errors, but I will have to come back and edit it later when I upload chapter two). Also, erring on the side of prudence, I changed the name of a certain site just as a trademark precaution. If the name I changed it to happens to be a real website, please know that it was by coincidence and not by design (because I didn’t check). I don’t think I’ve ever used quite this much profanity. I honestly wanted to scale it back, but that voice in my head was not having it. Lastly, you may enter the search term “Regina” used at your own risk. I did not actually look this up so I have no idea what results you will get. Okay folks, this is my second time writing based on a prompt--feel free to tell me what you think! Much love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finds a way to unwind after another long and stressful day. Since her past lovers have proved inadequate, she takes matters into her own hands and watches an adult film.

Regina sighed as she kicked off her heels at the end of yet another long and mundane day. From sunrise to sunset she found herself surrounded by the vapid and suffocating presence of the citizens of Storybrooke and their trivial problems, “emergencies,” and complaints.

She sat on the edge of her bed and eased her nylons from her smooth legs. On nights like these—when the tension of the day was almost too much—Regina (albeit begrudgingly) longed for a pair of hands to ease the strain that coiled its way through her muscles. She wouldn’t be opposed to a strong but gentle hand manipulating her flesh and easing the strained nerves until she was little more than a boneless and pliable ball of mass. She rose from her bed as she thought of how nice it would be to have a supple warm body waiting for her between her silky sheets—someone uninhibited and unashamed. Her body ached, no—craved—the unabashed touch of a skilled lover—someone who knew their way around a woman’s body without that irritating undertone of inferiority that followed her bed partners’ every move. Every stroke was timid and every kiss was unsure. Regina needed someone who understood what it meant to take a woman. She needed someone who could size her up from head to toe and not give a damn that she was the mayor; instead, she found herself surrounded with people who cowered in her shadow and who couldn’t seem to separate her public persona from the woman she was in private.

The brunette began her nightly routine, taking her time to examine her body as she disrobed. She imagined having someone standing behind her and unzipping her dress. She watched it fall to the floor and all but willed her faceless phantom to make itself known and finish the job. Most nights, when she had to take matters into her own hands, Regina imagined her body as liquid beneath the touch of an aggressive lover. Her mind fell into a salacious and titillating dimension that presented a mate who was more than capable of stroking her into utter oblivion.

She dangled her bra from her fingertips before letting it join her dress on the floor. She would leave on the panties—there was something about slipping her hand beneath the thin barrier that heightened her arousal. It was as if the thin veil hid away the secret meaning of life and to expose that so freely would cheapen the experience for her. With her panties still covering her clenching sex, she could easily fall into the fantasy that her hand didn’t belong to her at all . . . it belonged to someone else . . . someone knowing.

The mayor, as she often did when her urges got the better of her, decided against the adornment of night garments. Instead, she slid her near naked form between the smooth clingy sheets and positioned herself against the headboard, sighing as her back made contact with the mountain of pillows. She gazed longingly at the empty spot in her bed before reaching for her phone. Was she asking too much? Were her expectations as unreasonable in the bedroom as they were in all other aspects of her life? To Regina, it was simple: She wanted—no, needed—someone who could give her an out of body experience; someone with authority, and enough skill to back up their bravado. She needed someone who could stand their ground—someone who could look straight into her chocolate eyes, read her like a book and then fuck her until she tapped out . . . and maybe even beyond that.

Surely, she mused to herself, she wasn’t alone. There were undoubtedly message boards and articles dedicated to cranky unfulfilled women who just wanted someone who knew what the hell they were doing. Regina unlocked her phone and opened her browser. If nothing else, she could use the cloak of anonymity to voice her complaints with like-minded women before she eased the fire between her legs with her own hands.

The brunette pursed her lips together as she thought of what she wanted her search query to say. She shrugged and typed the first thing that came to her mind: **Women with frustrating sex lives**.

  * _Studies show women who are sexually frustrated tend to lead unfulfilling and less productive lives . . ._

“You don’t say,” she murmured sarcastically.

  * _Sexually frustrated women are more likely to commit violent crimes . . ._

“I feel personally attacked by this narrative.”

  * _HornDog.com**Lesbian cop owns frustrated housewife! Multiple orgasms!! These bitches go off script!!** . . ._

Regina Mills, the master and queen of snark and snide remarks, stared silently at the screen. She read the words over and over until the plain English began to resemble gibberish. Clearing her throat, she scrolled the rest of the search results for the next three pages . . . but none pulled her attention . . . not like the title of the third search result from that first page. She returned to the page and stared at the heading, gnawing her lip as her thumb hovered over the link. It wasn’t that she was opposed to watching adult films—she wasn’t a prude by any stretch of the imagination. But, pornography was so . . . _bad. _Not bad as in taboo, but bad as in, “Why in the hell is the acting so terrible; and, who on _earth _moans that way?! And for pete’s sake, who licks a person like that?” Regina groaned at the increasing ache between her legs. She was frustrated enough without adding the insult of a poorly constructed adult film to the mix. And yet . . . the title, while not exactly subtle, continued to pull her in. Undoubtedly there would be some scantily clad housewife and some “police officer” dressed in a uniform that barely fit.

Perhaps it was the lure and the promise of a woman in uniform that had been the final siren call, she reasoned as she pressed the link. Regina loved, _loved_, seeing people in uniforms that represented positions of authority. She imagined that perhaps that had been what drew her to Graham. He wasn’t terribly unattractive and he wore his uniform well. _All form and no substance, _she sighed inwardly as her mind flashed back to his disappointing performances. Where was the passion? Where was the aggression?

Regina pushed the lackluster experiences from her mind as the website loaded. “Well, it has five stars and . . . _two million_ views?” She swallowed against the dryness and tight knot forming in her throat as she pressed play. And again, her body ached—reminding her that it needed her attention. Her walls clenched in anticipation as the footage unfolded across her screen:

_A redhead with moderately large breasts sat on her white generic white leather couch and flipped through a nondescript magazine. Her knees were tucked under thick pale thighs and her skirt rode up to her thighs high enough to reveal a colorful thong. The sound of a doorbell surprised the young woman and she stared with a confused expression at the front door. _

_“I wonder who that could be,” the redhead pondered aloud. _

_She shrugged as she uncoiled herself and swayed toward the door. The camera zoomed in and tightened the shot on her barely covered rear end. She opened the door and straightened her stance so that her breasts strained against her thin camisole. Her erect nipples fought against the fabric as she bounced slightly on her heels and took in the sight of a female police officer standing on her porch._

Regina watched as the toned blonde leaned against the door frame and smiled at the ‘desperate housewife’. The mayor took in the shapely legs and fit frame of the woman wearing the ill-fitting uniform. She smiled appreciatively at the image of the woman whose blonde curls complimented her high cheek bones and angular jaw line. The mayor stared open mouthed as the ‘officer’ removed her sunglasses and turned her peridot gaze toward the woman of the house.

_“Hello, ma’am,” the officer began in a low and commanding voice._

“Damn,” Regina whispered. Two words. Two words and the nails from her free hand were already grazing her stiffened nipples. Even if the rest of the movie went to hell, Regina had to admit, the officer had an extremely sexy voice.

_“Oh. May I help you, officer?” The woman placed the tip of her finger between her teeth and looked the cop up and down before issuing a tiny pout._

“Ugh, please don’t ruin this for me,” Regina mumbled.

_The officer retrieved a tiny notepad from her back pocket and flipped through a few of the pages. “Yes, is this the West residence?”_

_“Why, yes it is,” the redhead blinked innocently._

_“I need to speak to the owners of the house, please.” The officer leaned in slightly closer and rested her hands on her utility belt._

_“I’m Mrs. West. This is my house. My husband isn’t home.”_

_“So you’re alone in the house, ma’am,” the officer asked while peering over the woman’s shoulder._

_The redhead nodded and sighed—taking a deep breath so that her cleavage heaved and reintroduced the obvious presence of her pebbled nipples._

_“Do you mind if I come in,” the officer asked in that same low and sultry tone._

_“Oh please, where are my manners? Please come in.” The redhead stepped slightly to the side—barely making room for the enforcement officer to pass the threshold. The blonde’s arm rubbed against her breasts as she entered the house. The flaming beauty bit her lip and smiled as she closed the door and walked behind the attractive woman. She took her time scanning the woman’s body as the officer absorbed her surroundings. _

_“Are you expecting anyone else in the house today, ma’am?”_

_“No officer,” the woman purred when the other woman finally turned to face her. “Is there a problem?”_

_“Well ma’am, there have been a string of break-ins and our department is canvassing the neighborhood. Sometimes people see things that are helpful, even if they don’t realize it at the time.”_

_“Well officer . . .?”_

_“Nolan.”_

_“Mmm. Well, Officer Nolan,” the redhead crooned. “I’m sorry you had to waste your time with me, but I can’t think of anything that would help you.” Mrs. West leaned closer to the officer and placed her hand on the blonde’s stiff collar. “I’m inside most of the day . . . alone . . . so I don’t really pay much attention to what happens in this neighborhood.” The housewife began stroking the officer’s collar and inching closer to the woman who was staring down at her._

_“I can imagine how hard it must be to fill a day, ma’am,” the officer replied while gazing none too subtly at Mrs. West’s pert nipples. “I’m sure a lovely woman such as yourself can find ways to pass the time until Mr. West comes home."_

_Again the two women inched closer toward one another. “Actually, it’s a lot more fun when Mr. West _isn’t _home.”_

_Officer Nolan grinned cockily at the woman before she reached out to grab a fist full of the housewife’s fiery mane. “And what time does Mr. West usually get home?”_

Regina wanted to scoff; she wanted to roll her eyes and throw her phone on the nightstand in order to escape the cheesy and predictable dialogue . . . but she couldn’t. There was something about their interaction—despite the horrible substance of the words themselves—that made the scene somewhat . . . plausible. Perhaps it was the authoritative stance of the officer that bordered on masculine; or maybe it was the fact that “Mrs. West” was now rubbing her leg against the blonde’s muscled thigh; whatever the reason—Regina couldn’t look away. Besides, she reasoned, five stars and two million views had to count for something.

She watched as the women began kissing and prepared herself for the inevitable and unrealistic tongue flicking that often accompanied these types of films. As sexy as the officer was, Regina knew it was only a matter of time before the two women swirled their tongues around each other’s in a ridiculous and almost comical representation of how women supposedly kiss one another. She tensed and prepared herself . . . but it never came.

_Officer Nolan pushed Mrs. West and she flopped back on the white couch. The blonde dropped her utility belt and ordered the housewife to spread her legs. The pitiful excuse for a skirt curled up to her waist and exposed the apex of her barely covered sex. The woman writhed on the couch—anxious for the blonde’s body to come in contact with hers._

_“Are you going to make me assume the position, officer,” the woman asked in a lusty tone as she lifted her hips up from the cushions of the sofa. _

_“It’s my job,” the blonde woman shrugged. “Tell me something, Mrs. West,” the officer asked as she made quick work of the flimsy top the housewife was wearing. “Does Mr. West know you have a thing for women in uniform?”_

_Officer Nolan leaned in to take one of Mrs. West’s breasts into her mouth. She took her time and savored the feel before biting the hardened peak. She pulled and sucked until the woman moaned into the open air and buried her fingers in the officer’s thick curls._

_“Fuck,” she cried out and whimpered when the officer did the same thing to the other breast. _

_Officer Nolan sank her teeth into the soft tissue of each malleable mound until the indentions of her teeth and the slight bruising from the sucking were clearly visible._

_“Take this shit off,” the officer growled as she reached for the hem of the skirt and began yanking it away from the woman’s hips. Mrs. West eagerly complied and lifted her hips from the couch in order to kick away the offensive material. Officer Nolan twisted the fabric of the thin underwear between her fingers and ripped it from the woman’s body. _

_“Fuck me,” the woman whined as she attempted to grind her uncovered sex against the blonde’s thigh._

_Officer Nolan glared down at the naked woman before leaning back to grip her thighs and spreading her legs further apart. “Hold them open,” she commanded as she pressed the woman’s legs to the point of her thighs nearly touching the sides of her breasts. _

_The dominant woman unbuttoned her shirt and tossed it to the floor along with her red-laced brassiere. _

Regina bit into her bottom lip in order to suppress the whimper that rested right on the tip her of tongue. The blonde’s abdominal muscles flexed and tightened as she leaned over the redhead and kissed her soundly on the lips. The kiss was deep and messy as the officer forced her tongue into the woman’s mouth and Mrs. West greedily accepted the intrusion while still remembering to keep her legs spread and her knees by her ears. The mayor felt the evidence of her own arousal begin to seep and collect between her thighs and onto her sheets. She let her delicate fingers ease beneath the covers and play at the waistband of her satin panties. Her legs parted of their own accord—as if they knew her mind was too enthralled with the scene playing out before her and the command could not be properly issued from the brain. Even with the barrier of her underwear, her juices coated her fingertips before she slipped her hand inside of her underwear.

“Oh my goodness,” Regina gasped when she finally moved her panties to the side and pushed two fingers inside of her swollen and clenching body.

_Officer Nolan rubbed her hand along the redhead’s glistening lips and smiled when the sensitive woman hissed and tried to deepen the contact. “Look at you. You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”_

_“Yes,” she hissed when the blonde roughly pushed two fingers into her. “Fuck yes!”_

_“Yes, what?” The camera zoomed in on the officer’s hand and the hairless pussy that produced a thick and natural lubrication for the blonde’s demanding digits. _

_“Oh, shit! Yes, officer,” the woman screamed as she arched her back and threw her head back against the arm of the couch. _

_Pleased with the civilian’s compliance, Officer Nolan easily inserted a third finger into the woman beneath her._

The mayor tightened her grip on the phone as she watched the woman tear into the housewife. The redhead attempted to let go of her legs and reach for the blonde, but the officer slapped her hands away and bit into the woman’s inner thigh before sucking the flesh lightly to ease the pain. Mrs. West cried out and gripped the back of her thighs for dear life.

_Officer Nolan sat up in order to survey her handiwork as she pumped her intertwined fingers into the woman’s eager and accepting body. _

Regina hung on every word and focused with rapt attention as the submissive woman called on god and used every expletive in her vocabulary. She marveled at the woman’s ability to remain in her current position while the officer pounded her body into the cushions. _Damn. _The image was raw and obscene—wholly vulgar and primitive . . . and completely satisfying. Regina matched the strokes of the officer and pushed deeper into herself. She gasped at the feel of her own fingers assaulting her sensitive flesh. Regina gave up the fight against her own inhibitions and cried out into the night air as her fingers coaxed her pussy into compliance with expert precision.

_“Whose pussy is this,” the officer grunted as she slammed into the woman over and over again. _

_“Oh shit,” the redhead squeaked. “Oh my fucking, god!”_

_“Fucking say it,” the blonde demanded as she increased the tempo. _

_“Yours!”_

_“Say that shit again.”_

_“Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck! I’m gonna c-come! Oh my god!”_

_“Whose shit is this,” she asked again as she pushed her fingers in as deep as they could go._

_“Yours! It’s your pussy.”_

_“Say it again.”_

_“Oh! Em—Officer Nolan! It’s yours!”_

_Mrs. West's eyes slammed shut as she wailed the evidence of her release. The camera captured her contorted features before panning to a wide screen view and allowing for the full image of her twitching form as her legs shook violently and her back arched high off the couch._

She did her best to last at the tempo she’d mirrored from the blonde but she knew her body too well and the assertive strokes soon turned to fevered thrusts that left her shaking and whimpering against her own hand. She wanted to extract her hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to end the delicious torment. She stroked herself until her wrist burned and her core clenched at the mere thought of being touched.

Her own orgasm had been almost violent. It roared through her system and burrowed its way deep into her womb before blossoming into the glorious agony of explosive nerve endings that nearly caused the mayor her sanity. She bucked against her own demanding hand and plundered herself as if possessed. In her mind, it was not _her _hand that strummed her body to the beat of the powerful tune; instead, it was the hand of a blonde woman who apparently had descended to earth on a cloud and possessed the exact touch the mayor needed. The climax rested in her cervix and crawled up her body until her vocal cords lost the battle against the power of the release and she cried out from the surge of the electricity that licked at the nape of her neck and suckled at her sensitive breasts. It reached her everywhere at once and seemed content to linger and cradle her in its embrace.

Regina sagged against the headboard as her breathing returned to normal. She licked her lips and stared hungrily at the display of pure unadulterated ecstasy that consumed the features of the very fortunate Mrs. West.

_The blonde pulled her hand from the quaking woman beneath her and sucked her fingers until they were clean of the other woman’s juices. Mrs. West offered up a lazy smile as her useless legs fell to the blonde’s knees. _

_The officer smiled down at the naked woman and patted the woman’s sweaty thigh. “Turn over.”_

_Mrs. West smiled with a surprised look on her face as she moved to comply with the officer’s demand. _

_“Hands and knees, ma’am. Assume the fucking position.”_

_Mrs. West settled into her new stance and was rewarded with a solid smack on her behind. _

_“Keep that ass in the air,” the officer commanded and lowered her body until her thin lips were pressed against the redhead’s seeping core. She wrapped her arms around the woman’s thighs and pulled her legs apart before burying her tongue inside the gasping and wanton woman rocking against her mouth. The camera remained tightly focused on the blonde’s skillful ministrations as she alternated back and forth between tongue-fucking the woman’s open sex and sucking the engorged clitoris into her hungry mouth._

Regina stared gape-mouthed at her phone as she watched the cop ravish the woman on her hands and knees. In that moment, in the comfort of her dark room and the unyielding night, Regina Mills drank in the sight of the two women and began to stroke herself for a second time. It was madness and yet it was exquisite. She gasped when the officer pulled her mouth away from the wife’s undoubtedly sore pussy and ran her tongue between the woman’s cheeks. _Damn. _

_The blonde unbuttoned her shorts and quickly kicked them free from her body along with her lacy panties that matched her bra. She straddled the woman’s lower back and pressed her head forward until her arms collapsed and her face was buried in the cushions. _

_“Put your hands behind your back,” the officer ordered breathlessly. _

_“Holy shit,” the woman responded as she complied._

_“That’s right, give me your fucking hands and keep that ass up.”_

_The dominant woman held on to one of the woman’s wrists with one of her hands while she positioned the other hand directly between her legs. The camera kept its aim close and steady on the officer’s wet and swollen sex as she took the woman’s fingers and situated them just right before she lowered herself onto the waiting hand. She pressed the woman’s free hand into her back and fucked herself roughly against the woman’s captured hand. _

_“After you make me come,” the blonde grunted, “I’m going to fuck your little pretty ass to sleep.”_

_She released the hand she didn’t need and leaned back far enough to prevent Mrs. West’s fingers from slipping out of her. She reached behind her and smacked the woman’s firm behind before inserting her fingers into the woman’s open and exposed pussy._

_“Oh my god,” the woman moaned into the pillows of the leather couch and gripped the arm rest of the sofa until her knuckles turned white. _

_“Say my name,” the cop panted as she rocked against the fingers._

_“Off-officer Nolan.”_

_“Fuck that. Say my name,” the woman demanded a second time while thrusting harder into the heaving the woman beneath her._

_“Shit!”_

_“Fuck those cameras. Say my name, baby,” the cop decreed a third time._

_“Em-Emma,” came the woman’s muffled screech. “Holy fuck!”_

_“I can’t hear you,” the blonde teased._

_“Fuck you,” Mrs. West half moaned and half laughed._

_Emma pulled her fingers completely out of the trembling woman and then slammed them back into her with a vengeance. She took her free hand and wrapped Mrs. West’s auburn locks through her fingers and pulled the woman’s head from the confines of the now slick leather couch. _

_“Emma! Oh my . . . fuck! EMMA!” The married woman stiffened momentarily before the tremors returned full force and she announced the arrival of yet another orgasm._

_“Damn right,” she panted as she bucked against the woman’s fingers._

_They collapsed together, the woman beneath the demanding cop finally giving in to the protests of her burning thighs and falling flat against the seat of the sofa._

_The blonde kissed the shoulder blades of the boneless body beneath her and reached out for the arm rest as she rode the woman’s fingers. Mrs. West’s hand was trapped behind her back between their sweaty bodies while Emma thrust her hips forward to drink in the captured fingers until the proof of her own orgasm was displayed openly for the camera to document for all of posterity. _

_Mrs. West’s cries slowly transformed into whimpers as she tried to catch her breath. She made no attempt to move, even when Officer Nolan stood and moved away from the furniture. Emma pulled the rag doll of a woman by her ankles and smiled as the woman sank to the floor. The exhausted woman turned over onto her back and smiled up the naked officer._

_“I think you’re trying to kill me.”_

_The blonde sank to her knees and crawled between the woman’s legs until they were face to face. Mrs. West wrapped her weak legs around the cop’s trim waist as best she could._

_“No baby. But I’m still going to put your fucking lights out.” . . . _

The soiled sheets clung to tremulous and sticky thighs as the mayor watched the remaining minutes of what had obviously become an unscripted scene. Long after the film ended and the screen went dark, a very spent and somehow still very aroused Mayor Mills sat with her hand between her legs. She didn’t have the strength to stroke herself anymore. She’d reaped the bounty of more climaxes from this single video than a lifetime of mundane and unimpressive partners could ever provide. Granted, she’d only had four lovers in her entire life, but dear god she would trade in every single one of those experiences for one hour of the type of animalistic sex she’d just witnessed.

Where did they breed women like _that? _Was there a form or a waiting list? Would it be possible to skip ahead to the front of the line? _Damn. _

She peeled the sheets away from her damp skin and shifted to the clean side of her bed. Regina stretched her exhausted form out across the left side of her bed and sighed as she thought back to the blonde in the video. As she let the stillness of the night finally wrap her in its arms and signal to Morpheus that her time had come, the dozing brunette couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever have someone in her bed as capable as “Officer Nolan” –no—someone as capable as . . . Emma.

* * *

** _Next time on the “Mother of All Coincidences” (chapter two excerpt)_ **

_. . . _

_The sound of a car door slamming pulled the distracted mayor from her reminiscent musings of the video she’d watched the night before. She scolded herself for being so affected by one blasted video . . . one blasted video that lasted an hour and a half . . . one blasted video that she’d masturbated to until her body practically went numb._

_The mayor stood and shook the thoughts from her mind as she went to the front door and opened it in order to greet her son. The brunette did a poor job of hiding her excitement as she threw open the door and prepared to scoop up the precious little boy she’d not seen for two whole days . . ._

_She frowned at the yellow car that sat parked at the curb in front of her house. _

_“What died and produced that monstrosity,” she grumbled to herself. Surely Nicolas’s parents hadn’t fallen on hard times._

_Henry smiled cautiously at his mother and walked into her embrace. She stiffened at his weak hug and pulled back to peer into his uneasy eyes._

_“Henry, sweetheart . . . are you okay? Did you have a problem at Nicolas’s house this weekend?”_

_The dark-haired child grew more anxious and Regina noticed his lips begin to tremble. “Please don’t be mad,” he started before wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve._

_Regina hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead. “Sweetheart, I could never stay mad at you. And I would definitely never stop loving you. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” Regina stroked his soft hair reassuringly as he glanced back at the yellow contraption sitting at the end of the sidewalk. He turned back to this mother and sighed before unloading his burden._

_“I didn’t go to Nicolas’s house after school on Friday—”_

_ “WHAT!! HENRY!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW—” _

_“I went to find my birth mother,” he blurted out with his eyes shut tight. The young boy sagged in relief as the weight of his secret lifted from his shoulders and was cast down at his mother’s feet. “I found her and . . . she brought me home,” he mumbled as he pointed over his shoulder . . ._


	2. You're Henry's Mother?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina meets Henry's birth mother, who just happens to be the very same porn star from a video she watched the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there will now be three chapters. I let the smut demon out to play; so chapter three picks up where this chapter leaves off. At this point, I don't even know if this story is any good but Naqq is free and happy, so there's that.

Regina fussed with her hair and wiped away the stray traces of lipstick from the corners of her mouth before smoothing out her dress. She grabbed the soiled sheets that she’d stripped from the bed in order to deposit them in the laundry room before heading into town. She blushed as she recalled the events of her previous night and just how uninhibited she’d allowed herself to be. It wasn’t the self-gratification that brought the deep crimson tint to her cheeks; no . . . Regina couldn’t seem to move past the reality of _why_ she’d practically attacked her own body last night. She had never pleasured herself to the point of stiff limbs and sore vaginal walls; and yet, her thighs and core made their discomfort known with each step that she took. Were it not for the delicious ache that settled in her hips and between her legs, the events from the previous night would have seemed but a dream or a distant memory. But the pull on her muscles and the resulting slow steps were very present and quite genuine, making the experience all the more memorable. The stark reality of the brilliant and revealing rays of sun did little to wipe the sly grin from the mayor’s full lips. At the very least, she thought she would feel a certain level of unease. Instead, she only felt relief. Not the relief and relaxation that comes from a night of passion, but relief that her son had not been home while his mother lay in the next room bucking against her own hand.

The mayor silently congratulated herself for allowing her son to spend the weekend away from home. She told herself that as an only child, it was important that she allow him to socialize with persons his own age. The little dark-haired angel already thought of himself as the man of the house. While Henry was certainly wise and at times uncomfortably observant, Regina had no intentions of allowing him to grow up too soon. Begrudgingly, she had to admit that she could not fill the role of mother and best friend to a vibrant boy who seemed to want nothing more than to spend less and less time in her presence. And honestly, for the first time ever, Regina was thankful that last night was one of those nights. She’d been so consumed with the heat of her own need, she wasn’t sure it would have made a difference if Henry _had_ been home. But thankfully, she didn’t have to dart through the house or take the walk of shame with her soiled bedding.

The mayor sat behind her desk and prepared herself for yet another mentally tasking morning. Mondays were always the worst—the proverbial reset button for the petty and wholly unimpressive plights of the small-minded people in her town. Small-minded, indeed. Regina couldn’t fight the furtive smile that spread across her red lips as she pondered the two-dimensional and conventional state of the citizens of her cozy little town. She wondered how they would react if they knew that a mere ten hours ago, their dignified and seemingly impervious mayor was fucking herself into next week while watching lesbian porn. Ha! She would scandalize the miners . . . scratch that—Leroy might actually like it. Regina shook away the disturbing line of thinking and let her mind wander back to the blonde from the video.

She’d given up on trying to keep the images at bay while sifting through her paperwork. Each time she stamped a copy of her signature on a permit or denial letter, her filthy mind translated the thudding into slow methodical grunts._ Get a hold of yourself_, she snapped inwardly. But that damn blonde was stubborn. Even when the dialogue and noises faded from her psyche, flashes of a very confident and very nude “Officer Emma Nolan” settled in the forefront of her mind. She couldn’t recall the last time—if ever—she’d seen a sex scene, be it in an actual movie or a pornographic film, in which she’d walked away so physically affected. Hell, just knowing a video like that existed made her stomach flutter. The brunette cursed herself when she felt her sore walls clench and practically demand to be touched. She spent her day shifting in her seat and fighting off the temptation of viewing the video that was consuming her every thought. By the time she turned off the lights and locked her office at the end of the day, Regina was convinced that if all adult films starred that brash and swaggering blonde, she would have to join a support group and confess her addiction to pornography.

The mayor returned home and set about preparing dinner for Henry’s return._ I wonder if Officer Nolan has any kitchen scenes. And that poor woman from the video—how did she even walk away from that? Who _rides_ a person’s back that way? I’ve never seen that. _Regina’s movements were robotic and practiced maneuvers as she prepared the pasta and salad. She tossed the salad mixture without so much as a direct glance into the bowl as she stared into the distance and replayed the highlights of the film in her head for what seemed like the hundredth time.

The sound of a car door slamming pulled the distracted mayor from her reminiscent musings of the video. Henry was outside and she couldn’t continue to let herself be held hostage by _one_ measly video. She scolded herself for being so affected by one blasted adult film . . . one blasted adult film that lasted an hour and a half . . . one blasted adult film that she’d masturbated to until her body practically went numb.

The brunette pushed herself away from the kitchen counter and shook the thoughts from her mind as she went to the front door to greet her son. The mayor did a poor job of hiding her excitement as she threw open the door and prepared to scoop up the precious little boy she’d not seen for two whole days. She stopped just short of crossing the threshold and eyed the yellow car that sat parked at the curve in front of her house.

“What died and produced that monstrosity,” she grumbled to herself. Surely the Crossett’s hadn’t fallen on hard times. The mayor’s back bristled at the mere thought of her son—her only son—riding in that steel trap which was likely forged from the inner most circle of hell.

Henry smiled cautiously at his mother as he took his time coming up the sidewalk and walking into her embrace. He stood in front of her for a moment and gazed upon her as if he would flee if she made the slightest movement. Finally, after appearing to have gathered both his strength and his courage, he wrapped his arms lightly around his mother’s waist. She stiffened at his weak hug and pulled back to peer into his uneasy eyes.

“Henry, sweetheart . . . are you okay,” Regina asked as she looked up at the car once again. “Did something happen at Nicolas’s house this weekend?”

The dark-haired child grew more anxious and Regina noticed his lips begin to tremble. “Please don’t be mad,” he spoke in a shaky voice before wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve.

Regina’s heart broke as she stared down at her little prince. She pulled him in tightly and kissed his forehead. “Sweetheart, I could never stay mad at you. And I would most certainly never stop loving you.” She ran her thumb across the span of his forehead and wiped away the lipstick from his clammy skin. The poor boy was practically shaking. “Hey,” she said, leaning down to meet his gaze at eye level, “whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Regina stroked his soft hair reassuringly as he glanced back at the yellow contraption sitting at the end of the sidewalk. He turned back to his mother and sighed before unloading his burden.

_“I didn’t go to Nicolas’s house after school on Friday . . .”_

“What . . . do you _mean_ you DIDN’T go there?! You were supposed to have spent the entire weekend there!” The tenor of her stern tone sprang free and echoed in the foyer.

“Mom—”

“Don’t ‘mom’ me! Do you have any idea how stupid that was? If something had happened I wouldn’t have even known where to start looking!”

“Mom—”

But again, she interrupted the increasingly jittery and watery-eyed little boy. “Where did you go? Where did you have to be at ten years old that was so important?”

“Mom please—”

“Where, Henry?!”

“Boston,” he mumbled.

The mayor shut her eyes and counted to five as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Sometimes her little prince really could be a pain in the ass. She looked down at her son and weighed her options. Of course the obvious questions loomed in her mind: How did he make it all the way to Boston; how did he pay for it; and why the _hell _did he go? Panic set in as she thought of her son perusing unattended through a large city: pedophiles, thieves, kidnappers, murderers . . . Of all the stupid, thoughtless . . .

“Henry,” she all but growled as the gravity of the situation fully set in.

“I went to find my birth mother,” he blurted out with his eyes shut tight. The young boy sagged in relief as the weight of his secret lifted from his shoulders and was cast down at his mother’s feet. “I found her and . . . she brought me home,” he muttered as he pointed over his shoulder.

“You did what,” she squeaked, no longer looking at her son but now glaring at the yellow piece of shit her son had ridden in all the way from Boston, Massachusetts.

What kind of sick demented woman kept someone else’s child for an entire weekend without even _attempting _to find out where the child came from? Regina snarled as Henry turned and waved for the mystery woman to get out of the compact vehicle. After a few moments when the woman never emerged, Henry turned his nervous gaze back to his mother.

“She must have fallen back to sleep,” he sputtered. “I-I’ll get her,” he volunteered as he prepared to bounce away and free himself from his mother’s unnerving gaze.

“No,” she snapped and pulled him by the sleeve. “You’ve done enough. _I _will send this woman on her way. _You _will go to your room and stay there until you graduate from college.”

“You’re going to send her way,” he whined through his pouty lips. “Mooom—”

“Henry, so help me,” Regina ground out through gritted teeth, “if you don’t go upstairs right now, I’ll take every game console you own and throw them in the community pool.”

His eyes widened in horror and he dashed around his mother without so much as a second glance over his shoulder. _Good luck Emma,_ he thought as he closed his bedroom door.

Regina turned her full attention to the child-kidnapping cretin who apparently suffered from narcolepsy. She strutted toward the yellow Volkswagen and tapped the passenger’s window. After a moment, she tapped again, using her palm to slap the glass and get the sleeping woman’s attention.

The driver’s side door swung open and a low throaty voice—still wrapped in the thick of sleep—called out to her. “Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?” The blonde woman jumped out of her car and turned to face the maniac who seemed to be putting all her effort into breaking her passenger window. “Oh shit,” she mumbled in appreciation. Was _that _the kid’s mother?

Regina straightened her spine and lifted her gaze to the woman who was now staring at her and smirking from the other side of the car. _No._ She stood with her mouth open and her brows practically hidden in her hairline as she stared into the same angular face and green eyes she’d seen the night before. _No. NO._ _Absolutely not. _She blinked and shook her head in an attempt to put an end to what was apparently a very intricate and life-like hallucination. Obviously, she’d been so consumed with and obsessed with the woman from last night’s video that her psyche was imprinting the woman’s face . . . and hair . . . onto other women.

“So you’re Regina, right?”

That low and sexy voice . . . _No._

The blonde’s smile deepened as Regina remained stiff as a board and continued to stare. The trim leggy woman walked around the car until she and Regina were standing almost face to face.

“I said,” the blonde grinned while looking at Regina’s open mouth, “You’re Regina, right?”

“_You’re_ Henry’s birth mother,” Regina barely spoke above a whisper when she finally found her voice. She let her dark brown eyes scan the length of the taller woman and bit into the corner of her bottom lip.

Emma nearly moaned as the slight rasp in the brunette’s voice assaulted her senses. She sighed and leaned against the car as the beautiful woman continued to examine her from head to toe. “Seems that way,” she shrugged before extending her hand to the woman who had yet to confirm her identity. “Let’s try this again,” she grinned smoothly. “My name is . . .”

_Please don’t say, Emma. Please don’t say, Emma. _

“Emma Swan.”

Regina met her heated gaze as she shook the woman’s hand. Their eyes held until Regina forced herself to look away from those impossibly green orbs. She tried to pull her hand away from the warmth of Emma’s palm, but Emma held her hand a bit tighter and stroked her thumb across the back of her hand. The mayor gasped at the brazen move. “My hand, please.”

“That’s not fair. You know my name. Now about you tell me yours? How do I know you’re the kid’s mother? You could be the maid,” the blonde quipped.

Regina snatched her hand away from the blonde bombshell and folded her arms. “Do I look like the _help _to you?”

Emma’s sly smile spread across her face as she took in the tight grey dress and black stilettos. No, Regina didn’t look like a domestic worker. She looked like the kind of woman who wore lace panties and drank expensive wine. She looked like the kind of woman that Emma could spread out on a carpet and eat out until her jaws locked up.

_I love a woman with a smart mouth._ “No you don’t. But I’m not a mind reader. I have a lot of skills and even more . . . talents . . . but that’s not one of them, lady.”

Regina sighed and stepped back from Emma. She couldn’t think with the woman standing so close to her.

“Obviously I am his mother, Ms. Swan,” Regina snapped.

“Hey don’t get pissy with me. I only had to ask you twenty times.” _I could fuck the attitude right out of this woman. _

“_Excuse _me?”

“Look, I’m not trying to ruffle any feathers here, okay? The kid showed up at my door and I brought him back as soon as I could get him to tell me where he lived. I’m just making sure I’m getting him to the right person.” Emma raised her hands in both agitation and surrender.

The brunette took a deep breath and willed herself to quell the irritation she felt brewing in the back of her mind. “Of course,” she began, offering the woman her political speaking voice. “I am Regina Mills and I am the mayor of this town.”

“No shit? Madam Mayor . . . I like the sound of that,” Emma purred and leaned in closer to Regina. “So, Madam Mayor, since it looks like you’re my official welcoming committee . . . mind pointing me in the direction of what passes for a hotel around here?”

Regina swallowed against the dry lump in her throat and fought against the wicked fantasy that was beginning to form in her mind. “You . . . you intend to stay,” she asked almost meekly.

“Well, as lovely as you are, I can’t stand out here all night. I could do with a good shower and a soft bed.”

Regina rubbed her fingers slowly along the length of her collarbone as she thought of the blonde’s toned and sleek body dripping and engulfed in a cloud of steam. She needed this woman to go away. She didn’t want to give her the location of Granny’s Bed and Breakfast. She didn’t want this strange _porn star _roaming the streets of Storybrooke and gaining the attention of the town’s people. More to the point, Regina didn’t think she could handle the idea of “Officer Nolan” being more than just a face from a film. Those lips were real; those toned legs were even more impressive up close. And for the love of humanity, why did the woman have to look so enticing in that red cocktail dress? No, her mind shouted at her. This woman had to go. The mere sight of her—all confident and exuding sensuality—was turning Regina into a blithering idiot who could barely string together any semblance of coherent reasoning. Hell no. She was just going to tell this woman that she was not welcome in Storybrooke and that she should be on her way. She would look her straight in those damned sea green eyes and tell her to wind up her little toy car and go back the way she came. She opened her mouth with every intention of cutting this woman down to size and sending her back to her noisy and over-crowded city.

“Really, Ms. Swan. If it’s just for the night, I have more than enough room here. I could put you in a guest room.” _Oh yes, you really told her._

Emma’s eyes visibly widened at the invitation. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to trouble you, Madam Mayor,” she replied as she tried to keep the glee and excitement out of her voice. She could think of a host of things she wanted to do under the roof of that mansion and none of them involved sleeping.

“It’s nothing. I have the room and it is only for the night. Besides, I never extend courtesies that leave me inconvenienced,” Regina replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

_Oh this woman is a piece of work. Just give me one night . . . shit, two and she’ll be walking around town with a song in her heart. _“Okay,” the blonde shrugged after grabbing a duffel bag from her car. “Lead the way.”

Regina escorted the blonde into her home. She felt those deep eyes burning into her and watching her every move. Never in her life had she been more aware of the sway of her hips as she was in those moments that Emma Swan followed behind her while heading up the stairs. They finally stopped at a door on the opposite end of the hall—the room furthest from her room and Henry’s. “You should have everything you need. You have your own bathroom and there are fresh towels in its linen closet.”

“Don’t make me too comfortable,” Emma purred. “I might never want to leave.”

Regina stepped away from Emma Swan. Being too close to her and hearing that intoxicating voice was definitely bad for her health. No one should be allowed to slice through a person with just a glance or a tone, but Emma Swan did it with ease. It was as if she _knew_ she could have Regina; as if the need and desire was so strong that it radiated off the brunette and called out to the tall stranger.

The mayor cleared her throat and walked away from the dangerous woman.

“Goodnight, Madam Mayor,” Emma called out with a smile in her voice.

“Good night, Ms. Nol—Swan!” . . . _Please . . . Dear god . . . No. _

Regina Mills, a fearless and often confrontational creature, prayed that death would come quickly and that the earth would swallow her whole. _What the _hell_ is wrong with you?_ She didn’t chance a glance over her shoulder—she couldn’t. The heat of embarrassment stained her olive cheeks as she hurried to her room. If there be a deity of any kind—just one spirit from on high or an ancient djinn from the days of old—they would grant her this _one _wish: Please let Emma Swan not have heard that stupid and careless slip of the tongue.

Regina inwardly berated herself as went through the motions of her nightly routine. How on earth was she supposed to relax knowing that the living embodiment of her sexual fantasies was not only Henry’s birth mother, but was right down the hall . . . taking a damn shower?

Tuesday would be better, she told herself. She would have her morning coffee and clear her mind. She would make breakfast . . . _breakfast?_ Regina sighed heavily as she shrugged into her robe and headed downstairs. With all the commotion and the unexpected events of the night, she’d forgotten all about the dinner she’d prepared. The pasta sat cold and swollen next to her warm and wilted salad. She’d sent her poor son to bed with no supper and had completely neglected to offer her guest a decent meal. The mayor chided herself for her poor mothering and deplorable hospitality. She grabbed the basket of Honey Crisp apples from the counter and headed up the stairs. She peeked into her son’s dark room and smiled at the sight of his sleeping form curled up with a game controller resting next to him. The mayor eased away from his door and took a deep breath before heading to the other end of the hall.

_Maybe she didn’t hear me and I’m being absolutely ridiculous._ Regina knocked on the door and plastered a polite smile on her face. _You are an adult and you are in control. _

Emma Swan opened the door and leaned against the framed. She did her best to cover her smirk when the mayor gasped at her choice of nighttime attire. The white tank top clung to her slender braless body and hugged her nipples. The red lace underwear screamed for Regina’s attention and was rewarded with the heat of her chocolate eyes as Regina’s lusty gaze raked the length of the blonde’s body. Their eyes met and Emma stepped aside, allowing just enough room for Regina to squeeze past her and enter the room with the basket. Regina eased into the spacious quarters and nearly dropped the basket of apples when she heard Emma lock the door behind her. Her hurled around and watched as this woman, a practical stranger to her, walked up to her and took the basket out of her hands and place it in the chair.

“I-I thought you might be hungry.” She spoke in a husky tone and wet her lips as Emma walked right into her personal space.

“Which one did you watch,” the blonde asked.

Regina gasped and stared straight into those hypnotic luminous green eyes. Sex and authority dripped from Emma’s voice as she reached for the tie of Regina’s robe. Her tone left no room for empty denials or false declarations or feigned ignorance. Regina knew _exactly _what Emma was asking her.

Emma spied the cocktail of fear, lust, and apprehension that flashed across the mayor’s face. She reached out to stroke the flushing cheeks before she asked her question again. And yet again she was met with silence and a heated gaze. “Do you ever just answer a question the first damn time,” she teased as she untied the robe. Emma grabbed the back of Regina’s neck and pulled her in until their lips were almost touching. She could feel the desire radiating off the brunette; she could smell the frustration and primal urges that needed to be released and sated. Regina needed her body worked from head to toe. It was in her body language; it was in the snippy way she spoke and rolled her eyes; it was in the way those whiskey eyes focused on Emma’s lips and drank in the sight of the taller woman teasing her bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. Regina Mills, mayor of this quaint “Sure is a nice day we’re having” town, needed to be fucked.

The mayor, as if pushed by the force of unseen hands, threw caution to the wind and attacked the thin lips that happily and eagerly absorbed the impact of her urgent kisses. Emma sucked the full bottom lip into her mouth and ran her tongue along the rim of the captured lip. The kisses were liquid fire and honey—all knowing and all consuming. Emma released Regina’s lip and sucked the mayor’s eager tongue into her mouth. The brunette moaned into her mouth and ran her fingers through those enticing blonde curls that seemed to rival the very rays of the sun.

Emma stepped back and pulled her shirt over her head. Regina salivated at the intimate view of Emma’s sculpted physique. She was even more impressive in person than she was in the film. Eager hands shot out to roam over the marbled and chiseled flesh. Regina sighed in contentment at the complex feel of soft flesh covering such taut and defined muscles. The mayor raked her nails down the pronounced path of the blonde’s abdomen until Emma grabbed one of her wrists. The blonde pulled Regina’s hand lower until it was shoved and hidden inside of the lace-trim underwear. She was slick and hairless. Emma widened her stance and pulled Regina’s hand roughly between her legs. Her swollen pussy lips greeted Regina’s eager fingers and the juices coated her fingers and ran down toned inner thighs.

“Tell me which one you watched,” Emma demanded in a husky tone as she pushed the mayor’s robe off her delicate shoulders with her free hand. The thin thigh-length nightgown did very little to hide the hardened peaks that rubbed against the silk material. Those green eyes, clouded with lust and uncompromising control, pierced the still air between them and demanded compliance.

“Did you fuck yourself, watching me,” the blonde continued. She thrust her hips forward and tightened her grip on Regina’s wrist. The brunette’s fingers sank into her as Regina stared down at her thrusting hand as though it belonged to someone else. The intrusion was hard and deep—just the way Emma liked it. The blonde buried her fingers in Regina’s midnight mane and brought their lips roughly together before pulling completely away and snatching Regina’s hand out of her throbbing vagina and drenched underwear.

The mayor stood trembling before the naked woman—disappointment, and a mixture of disbelief and arousal in its purest form seized her exotic features. “I get that you’re hot shit and people probably step on their grandmothers to get out of your way . . . but I don’t play that shit, Regina,” Emma husked as she finished removing the robe. She stepped back once more and ordered the dark-haired beauty to take off her gown.

Regina stared open-mouthed at the brazen woman. The flaxen haired vixen stood with an ease and prowess that made Regina’s body scream for attention. _Damn._ Had anyone else—_anyone else—_spoken to Regina the way that Emma Swan had just spoken to her, the mayor would have had their job, their home, and hell maybe impounded their car for good measure. But Emma Swan stood and flexed her dominance and all but dared the stubborn and aroused woman to do anything other than comply. Her body ached with a savage need that well surpassed the hunger of her loins from the previous night. She wanted this. In all honesty, she wanted Emma Swan—Nolan—whatever, to “Mrs. West” the shit out of her.

“Believe me, Ms. Swan,” the brunette challenged in a deeper and raspier tone as she pulled herself free of her gown and tossed it over her shoulder. “Your blue collar vocabulary does not intimidate me.” Regina arched her brow in mock derision and smiled when the blonde yanked her roughly to her. Their bodies crashed together and Emma smiled darkly against those red full lips before they assaulted each other’s faces.

Their tongues battled for what seemed like ages before Emma broke the sloppy kiss and pressed her thin lips against Regina’s ear. “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you,” she hissed and then pushed the mayor toward the bed.

_Yes, please!_ The mayor’s mind screamed that finally—finally—she would have someone in her bed that knew how to break her body down into a million irreparable pieces. This vulgar, crass, unabashed, gorgeous woman was going to fuck her into the middle of next week. And if that video was any sort of indication, Regina was in for the ride of her life.

Emma tore the thin panties away from Regina’s body. She scoffed at the offensive material for daring to create a barrier between her and brunette’s glistening pussy. She settled between Regina’s sweaty smooth thighs and flattened her thick tongue along the length of Regina's throbbing slit. She pushed her tongue between the folds and pressed it firmly against Regina’s clitoris. Her mouth sucked in the thick juices and salty taste.

The mayor pulled a pillow to her lips and bit into the cotton fabric of the casing. Emma’s mouth was a heat-seeking missile of precision. The blonde zeroed in on her engorged clitoris and alternated between sucking the nub directly and running her tongue firmly against its slick and throbbing hood.

“Oh, my god!” Her squeal of a cry was absorbed and eaten by the fabric of the pillow she’d all but stuffed into her own mouth.

Emma, hearing the muffled cries of ecstasy and deciding she didn’t care for it one bit, reached up and snatched the pillow away from the quivering and moaning woman. “Fuck that,” she growled before latching on the woman’s sensitive pussy yet again. She wrapped her strong arms around Regina’s quaking thighs and tongue-fucked the mayor until her vision blurred. The brunette panted and whined with increasing fervor as the warning signs of her first orgasm began to trickle down her spine. How on earth was Emma bringing her to climax so fucking quick? Through the haze of her frantic cries and the tremors that came as a result of Emma’s demanding mouth, Regina admitted inwardly and wholeheartedly: the woman knew what the hell she was doing. 

At the first sign of her body tensing and preparing for its cosmic release, Emma released Regina’s slick thighs in order to grab her hips and yank the brunette’s lower body away from the bed. She forced Regina’s hips off the mattress time and time again as her tongue met the avaricious pussy with starving strokes. She sucked the lips into her mouth and pushed her tongue into Regina’s clenching sex. The brunette’s ridged pussy walls grabbed hold of her invasive tongue and pulsed around it as her fluids bathed and coated the organ with each caress. The orgasm dug its way out of her womb and slammed back into her with a vengeance. She clenched her teeth in order to subdue the wave of manic cries that threatened to burst from her heaving body.

Emma pulled her mouth away from the woman’s sex and thrust two fingers straight into her core. “Stop holding that shit in,” she demanded as she set a punishing pace between the brunette’s legs. “Give me that shit,” she grunted.

“Emma,” she squealed.

“Call me Ms. Swan.”

“Oh my go—ah!”

Emma added a third finger and increased her bruising tempo. “You’re sexy as _fuck_,” she groaned. “I’m going to wear your ass out.” She climbed up Regina’s body, careful not to let her fingers slip out of the dark-haired beauty. She leaned in until her face, still coated with the essence of the brunette’s pussy, was mere centimeters from the other woman’s contorted face. She stilled her motions and waited until those deep brown eyes met her gaze. Emma pressed her sticky lips against the mayor’s before she spoke. “Clean me off,” she ordered.

Regina gasped at the command. It was so . . . dirty . . . so intimate . . . so carnal. She licked around Emma’s mouth and chin until she’d collected her own nectar into her mouth. She sucked the evidence of herself from Emma’s thin lips and swallowed away the proof of her lover’s expertise.

“Now say it,” the blonde demanded again as she picked up the tempo of her thrusts.

“Ms. Swan,” the brunette moaned. She slender hands gripped the sheets until her knuckles ached and the nerves in her palms began to twitch.

“Let me hear it, Gina!”

“Ms. Swan,” she cried out openly—finally accepting defeat and giving up the futile attempts to curb her moans. Regina Mills was by no stretch of the imagination a screamer; but Emma Swan’s relentless thrusts into her body and those fucking fingers that stroked her g-spot with every flick of the wrist, brought forth the most unflattering series of cries. The woman was fucking her soul and showing her pieces of herself that she didn’t even know existed.

Emma pressed her hot lips against Regina’s ear and whispered her obscene intentions—sending the images straight into the brunette’s already frazzled psyche.

“You’re going to ride me after you bust this nut,” Emma whispered and bit the mayor’s earlobe.

“Oh my god,” Regina moaned—half as a result of the tension of a second brewing release and half as a result of the words being spoken directly into her ear. She whined into the night air and surrendered her tremulous body to the succubus grinding her into the mattress . . .

* * *

** _Next time in the concluding chapter of “Mother of All Coincidences” . . . _ **

_“No. Not like that, baby,” Emma whispered as she stopped Regina’s ascent._

_The brunette pouted in confusion as she let Emma guide her body into position. “I- I thought you wanted me to ride you,” she asked in a hoarse voice._

_“Oh, I do,” she confirmed with a sly smile. Emma grabbed her left breast and held it in her firm grip. She positioned the supple mound so that her nipple was aimed directly at the hovering woman’s dripping lips. “Sit,” she ordered._

_Regina’s eyes widened in realization. She opened her mouth to say . . . something—anything. All reason and logic escaped and retreated to the darkest corners of her mind. Sanity packaged its bags and left Regina to flounder in her heightened state of shock and amplified desire. Dear god, Emma wanted her to ride her breast._

_Emma, watching the emotions play out across her lover’s face, smirked cockily before confirming, “Yeah baby, I’m going to titty fuck you.” The blonde brought her hands down soundly against the mayor’s ass cheeks and stared up at the goddess. “Then we can really get started.”_


	3. Insatiable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole smut and nothing but the smut. (Bonus notes at the end of this chapter. I would have put them in the actual notes section but I couldn't use italics or bold font.)

Regina lay limp and spent in the center of the bed. Her nerves hummed from the remnants of the last climax that was slowly releasing her from its prison. Emma bit into the curve of her neck and sucked the tender flesh. The brunette offered up an exhausted whimper and swatted weakly at her lover's shoulder. "I'm not sure I can feel my legs," the mayor declared in a cracked and unsteady voice.

"If you're not sure then my job's not done," Emma retorted.

The mayor's incredulous puff of laughter died before it could truly spring to life. Somehow her thick and muddled brain—dulled from the strain of a series of omnipotent orgasms—registered that Emma Swan was completely serious.

Emma untangled herself from Regina and positioned herself on her knees in order to take in a full view of the woman who'd spent the last two hours screaming out her surname.

Regina had squealed and tried to scoot away from the relentless thrusts. Emma kept her pinned in the same position until she'd milked the brunette's body and left her heaving and quaking. Regina was not used to the consistency. She'd had lovers that would shift positions after minutes of licking, stroking, or touching. None of them had ever worked her body and pulled orgasm after orgasm from her. Emma Swan was an entirely different creature. Even after the mayor's first series of gripping climaxes, Emma continued the steady pace of her aggressive plunder—making sure that her fingers raked firmly against the mass of nerves inside her walls with each intrusion. Unlike her past bed partners, Emma zeroed in on her g-spot immediately and stayed with the rhythm of assaulting the sensitive nerve endings until Regina's legs nearly crushed the blonde's waist.

"Don't let this go to your head—"

"Too late," the blonde chirped while smiling down at the mayor.

_Insufferable. _Regina rolled her eyes playfully before she continued. "I would say you've done your job quite well."

Emma laughed at the mayor's winded tone. She leaned forward and drew a hardened nipple into her mouth and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath. She heaped the same attention on the other nipple. "Get up, baby."

Regina's eyes widened at the request. "Did you miss the part about my legs being made out of jello?"

Emma shrugged. "Best way to get the circulation going is to put them to good use." She licked her lips and pulled Regina up from the bed. She kissed her deeply before flipping them over and stretching out on her back. "I told you, you're going to ride me."

Regina shook her head in disbelief—both at the request and the throbbing that had returned to her inflamed core. How the hell did someone like this even _exist?_ The mayor willed her useless legs into action. Her thighs protested the weight of her body as she attempted to crawl up the blonde's lustrous prostrate form. Just as she prepared herself to place her knees on the sides of Emma's head, the blonde reached out and pressed her hand against Regina's stomach.

"No, not like that baby," Emma whispered as she stopped Regina's ascent.

The brunette pouted in confusion as she let Emma guide her body into position. "I- I thought you wanted me to ride you," she asked in a hoarse voice.

"Oh, I do," she confirmed with a sly smile. Emma grabbed her left breast held it in her firm grip. She positioned the supple mound so that her nipple was aimed directly at the hovering woman's dripping lips. "Sit," she ordered.

Regina's eyes widened in realization. She opened her mouth to say . . . something—anything. All reason and logic escaped and headed to the furthest corners of her mind. Sanity packed its bags and left Regina to flounder in her heightened state of shock and amplified desire. Dear god, Emma wanted her to ride her _breast._

Emma, watching the emotions play out across her lover's face, smirked cockily before confirming, "Yeah baby, I'm going to titty fuck you." The blonde brought her hand down soundly against the mayor's ass cheeks and stared up at the goddess. "Then we can really get started."

The blonde positioned the mayor so that one knee was tucked firmly between the porn star's arm and ribs, while the other leg was lifted and foot planted solidly next to Emma's head. It left Regina open and exposed. Her body was on display as if she'd been caught in a freeze frame while exercising in the nude. Regina groaned as she lowered and stretched herself. Emma reached around quivering legs with her free hand and spread Regina's lips until her clitoris was pressed solidly against the blonde's pebbled nipple.

"Oh my goodness," the mayor rasped as her tired torso sagged forward and she rested her forehead against the headboard. Her body nearly exploded from the heat of the direct contact. The mixture of relief from the touch and the tension from the blood building nearly brought her to tears.

Emma leaned forward and reveled in the feel of her abdomen muscles straining as she sat up to lick Regina's navel. The mayor bucked into the touch—causing her swollen and wet clitoris to grind roughly into Emma's soft breast. Secure in the knowledge that her hand was no longer needed to guide her nipple, Emma palmed Regina's behind and guided the two nubs in their urgent dance.

"What kind of person _are _you," Regina moaned as she gripped the headboard and fought against the urge to bite into the wood. Emma only grunted in response and licked the area around the mayor's navel before nibbling at the flesh. "Oh, _shit!"_

"Such language," Emma murmured against Regina's tense stomach. She dug her nails into Regina's plump and tender flesh, signaling to the brunette that she demanded more. "Ride me," she husked when she finally leaned back to the pillow so that she could have a clear view of Regina's wet pussy grinding on her chest and leaving her breast wet and sticky. She dug her nails deeper and repeated her command. "I said fucking ride me, Regina." Emma set the pace until Regina's hips jerked in an urgent and wholly undignified manner.

The mayor cried out into the thick atmosphere of the room as her hips lurched forward again and again. Her knees shook and her pelvis protested the jagged and beastly ministrations, but her climax kept her twitching and held hostage to the blonde woman's bust. "Emma! E-Emma! God—damnit!" Her shaky high-pitched gasps transformed into dying mewls as she collapsed over Emma and rested her head on the bed's wooden frame.

Emma stroked lightly along the length of Regina's sweaty back and allowed the woman to come down from the mountain top. She waited until the whines and whimpers were replaced with a somewhat calm and level breathing pattern. _Fuck,_ Emma thought hungrily. She couldn't get enough of this damn woman.

Regina fell away from her sex-crazed porn star and plopped down beside her on the bed. She covered her eyes with her forearm and licked her dry lips. "That . . . I don't know what that was, honestly."

"It was hot as hell, is what it was." Emma sat up and rested on her elbow. She smiled down at her lover. "You left quite a mess though," Emma whispered.

Regina lowered her arm, surveying the blonde's glistening chest; and for the second time that night, she sucked away her own juices until the substantiation of her surrender was transferred from the blonde's body and onto her hot tongue and waiting mouth. She deepened her worship of the woman's bosom. The raised and stiffened skin greeted her eagerly as Emma pushed her chest closer to Regina's face. "I bet that mouth is fucking amazing," she gasped as Regina tugged a nipple between her teeth. She swirled her tongue around the bud before taking the mound deeper into her mouth.

Regina, emboldened by Emma's hands pressing into her hair and pushing her closer to her chest, pushed the blonde's body until she was once again flat on her back. Regina attacked the woman's chest, one breast at a time and settled her weight between muscled thighs. "No one," Regina began as she slowly kissed her way down Emma's body, "has ever," another kiss, "come close," another kiss, "to touching me the way that you have." The mayor pulled at the waistband of Emma's lace panties with her teeth and tugged.

"You are so fucking sexy," Emma declared with a hardened stare. Everything about Regina set her body on fire from head to fucking toe. She would grant her this. She would let Regina make her come. She would surrender to those pouty lips and give Regina's body the recovery time that it undoubtedly needed. But the second—the _second_—her orgasm subsided, Emma promised herself that she would put Madam Mayor on her hands and knees and fuck her until they broke the queen-sized bed. It wasn't enough that Emma was leaving her indelible mark on the brunette. She didn't just want Regina to remember this night. She wanted Regina to look back on this night and recall how Emma Swan, sex extraordinaire, had worked her body until she literally could take no more. Emma was aiming for a tap out, and until she got it, the fine piece of ass between her legs could relinquish any thoughts of sleep tonight.

Emma lifted her hips and watched with an almost crazed appetite as the brunette removed the panties with her mouth—only using her hands when the soaked garments were at her knees.

"Open up, Ms. Swan," the brunette rasped before leaning in and draping Emma's legs over her shoulders. Regina sucked the waiting lips into her mouth before releasing them with the smack of her lips. She repeated the action before pressing her tongue into Emma and pushing her face firmly between those elevated thighs. She wrapped her arms around the strong thighs and sank her nails into the blonde's pale and creamy skin.

"Fuck!" Emma's hands shot out to find purchase in Regina's tousled hair. Her savage grunts increased as she held the brunette's head in place and bucked up into her mouth. Regina's nails clawed deeper into her skin as she held the blonde tighter. She pressed her eager tongue further until her nose began to rub firmly and harshly against the hood of Emma's clitoris. One thing was certain, the blonde realized as her grunts evolved into tremulous cries: Regina could give as good as she got. "Holy shit! F-fuck me!" Emma yelled the brunette's name as though she were drowning and falling from the edge of the earth. A classy bitch with a talented mouth—Emma had just found a unicorn.

Regina ignored the base level expletives and crass declarations. Honestly, the string of profanities and vulgar proclamations only spurred her on and fueled her ego. She relaxed her jaw and used her tongue to scoop the woman's juices from her pulsing canal. Emma's walls clenched, trying desperately to hold on to the rhythmic organ that was hurdling her body toward the splendid death of an excruciating climax.

She grabbed the back of Regina's head and held her firmly in place as she bucked and jerked against the protruding tongue. The crescendo of her cries reached their peak as she lost control of her nervous system and the lower half of her body spasmed violently. "Don't move," she grunted as the tremors grew stronger. "Don't you fucking move-oh shit!" She bit into her lower lip and slammed her eyes closed against the strength of her orgasm. Regina stiffened her tongue inside of the pulsing walls and Emma fucked herself against the fattened organ. Her legs locked tightly around Regina's ears and her hips locked into place as the involuntary stiffness claimed her body and straightened her spine. A squeal escaped her lips before finally her face became the masterpiece of a silent scream. She disintegrated into one hundred and ten pounds of lifeless mass by the time the quakes finally downgraded to rolling and sporadic shudders.

Regina pulled her coated face way from the comfort of those enticing thighs and kissed the sensitive inner flesh. She rested her head on the blonde's thigh and strummed her finger tips over the damp skin.

Emma sighed in appreciation as her body tingled from head to toe. "Damn, I needed that," she sighed happily. She couldn't recall the last time—if ever—anyone had ever read her body and given her what she needed. Maybe, just maybe if she stuck around for a few more days, she could see what other talents the prim and proper brunette possessed. "That was so fucking good," she said as she stroked the brunette's hair. She smiled down at the top of Regina's matted crown, poor woman probably thought she was done for the night.

"Mmm," Regina purred in agreement. Pride and satisfaction swelled in her bosom as she thought of how she'd brought the blonde to the height of ecstasy with just her mouth. _Take that, Mrs. West_, she huffed inwardly before chiding herself for the twinge of jealousy she felt toward the adult film actress. Regina used the sheets to wipe her face clean but the delectable smell of Emma's juices lingered and ensnared her nostrils with each breath she took. Somehow, Regina knew that long after Emma Swan had returned to Boston, she would still smell this woman on her lips.

Emma pulled away from Regina and stood with a sweeping stretching motion. The mayor admired her physique and the lithe way she loosened her limbs as she stepped away from the bed. "Get on your knees, baby."

_She must be kidding,_ Regina thought to herself and voiced as much when Emma stood next to the nightstand expectantly. "You're . . . you're not—surely you're not _serious_?"

"It's either that or you can bend over the bed, but I want you ass up," Emma's low tone was layered with determination and promise. When Regina lay in her same position, staring at the blonde woman as though she'd lost her mind, Emma made the decision for her. She reached for the stunned woman and pulled her by her ankles. Regina yelped at the show of strength as Emma dragged her across the bed and pulled her until her toes hit the floor. Emma used her thigh to shove Regina's legs further apart. She bent over the woman and stroked the back of her head as she spoke into her ear. "Can you give me one more, Regina?" Emma bit the mayor's shoulder blade and the brunette whined into the sheets. She stretched her arms out and fisted the bedding as if she were accepting her position as the sacrificial lamb. She nodded weakly as she mumbled into the cotton fabric. "You are a ridiculous human being."

"And you're fucking addictive," Emma declared before reaching between them and thrusting three fingers into Regina's body.

The brunette tightened her grip on the sheets, pulling until they sprang free from the corners of the bed. Emma's fingers honed in on her sensitive areas and set a deliciously slow and hard pace that made the mayor's mouth water. The intrusions were demanding but not frantic. Emma rocked her body against the mayor's exposed ass. With her free hand, she spread her own lips until her exposed clitoris was sealed against one of the mayor's ass cheeks. Regina groaned at the feel of the hot sticky flesh rubbing against her behind. The domineering woman pressed her hand into Regina's back and held her in place as she fucked them both. Regina's cries were swallowed by the mattress and again Emma found that this irritated her.

"I told you about that shit," Emma rumbled. She pulled the mayor's head free from the safety of the fine linen and was rewarded with a series of hyperventilating moans. She bucked harder against Regina's derriere as she fucked into the shaking woman. The mayor's walls clamped around the intertwined fingers and Emma relished in the art of battling the tightening canal as she thrust deeper. She briefly lamented not having her strap-on. Had she known that _this _was waiting for her when she'd first come into Storybrooke, she would have packed an entirely different kind of bag.

Regina's quivering lips served as poor gatekeepers once the moans were freely released. She screamed Emma's name as the blonde continued to plunder her raw pussy and rut against her like a dog in heat. Regina felt exposed and overwhelmed. She felt taken and thoroughly owned. All those nights of pining away for a true lover, of masturbating and fantasizing of a lover with no inhibitions—she'd never in a million years dreamed it would be like this. Emma took her body and bent it to her will. The woman demanded respect and compliance and Regina's body was a slave those orders. She wanted to scoot away. She wanted to bring an end to the blistering rapture that was almost painful, but her body drank in every stroke and absorbed every heated plunge of Emma's hand. The arrival of her peak nearly brought her to tears. It bit into her spine and coursed through her blood stream like venom. Her body shook with a violence that nearly caused the blonde to stumble. Without missing a beat, Emma grabbed hold of Regina's hip and rode the brunette until Regina's body seized and deflated. Even still, Emma continued her actions.

"E-E-Emma," Regina whined frantically.

"One more."

"E-Emma, I can't—oh my god!" Emma pressed her thumb between Regina's cheeks and the mayor stiffened at the intrusion.

"Just a little," the taller woman promised as she sank to her knees and came face to face with Regina's smooth behind. She spread the woman's cheeks and licked along the length of the dripping opening. She gathered as much of the woman's natural lubrication on her tongue as she could before she deposited the juices at the entrance of Regina's anal cavity.

"Baby—E-Emma!"

"Ooh, I like that," the blonde teased as her tongued darted out to greet the tight entrance. "Say that again." When she was only met with more startled moans, Emma pushed her tongue as deep as the lubricated area would allow and slammed three interwoven fingers into Regina's sopping vaginal walls.

Stars burst behind her eyes and the remnants of her fleeting comprehension finally slithered away and died a humble death. Regina sang her torturous melody as the sensation of being completely filled by Emma Swan washed over her. She'd never allowed anyone to so much as touch her there; but now, with only the apples and light from the lamp on the nightstand as witnesses, Regina Mills convulsed from the down-right salacious sensation of Emma Swan fucking her behind with her tongue.

Regina could almost . . . almost . . . understand why people announced their orgasms before they took hold. It was a mixture of surprise and wonder that the maneuvers of the other person had led to that glorious and soul-stealing moment. The person's essence was crying out and alerting the atmosphere that the soul connected to that body was escaping and its freedom brought about a bliss and exhaustion that could not be accurately described. Yet, in that moment when both of Regina's walls clenched and locked around Emma's intrusions, Regina was willing to give it a try. She cried out until her voice sounded foreign and alien to her own ears. She tried to still her body but it rebuked her in a fit of raging tremors as the release stamped its signature up and down her body. One orgasm gave way to another, which quickly melted and blossomed into a third that seemed reluctant to go away.

Emma pulled her mouth away from Regina's heaving form and focused her attention on her digital ministrations. Regina pulled at the sheets but Emma held her in place. "Don't run, Gina," she whispered and kissed the back of her thigh.

"E-Emma, baby please. I-I don't think I can take anym-m-more."

The blonde sighed, almost sadly, as she eased her fingers out of Regina. The brunette sagged in relief and lay whimpering face-down in the balled up covers. Emma thought of entering her again. She mulled over the prospect of stimulating the woman's urethra until Regina's body betrayed her with the force of its ejaculation. The urge to have this woman all but unconscious and over-dosed on orgasms was rapidly turning into a desire that Emma was hard pressed to ignore. A tap out just simply was not good enough.

She rose to her feet and helped Regina get more of her body onto the bed before heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she returned, she couldn't help the smug smile that claimed her face as she noticed how the brunette still shuddered slightly. Her breathing was returning to its normal state but the methodical whines were still laced in her voice. Emma helped the brunette get all the way on the bed and joined her under the messy covers.

After several moments, Regina finally spoke. "I can't sleep in here."

Emma wrapped her arm tighter around the woman's waist and kissed the back of her neck. "Yes you can. Unless you're worried about the kid seeing you leave."

Regina shivered at the feel of the hot lips and warm breath on the nape of her neck. "I don't know how I would explain it," she whispered softly as she backed herself deeper into Emma's embrace.

"Then don't explain it," Emma reasoned as she circled Regina's navel with her thumb. Regina tensed.

"Emma . . ."

"Relax, I'll let you sleep. But you owe me in the morning."

"Is that right?" Emma could hear the smirk in Regina's voice.

"Damn straight. Morning pussy is my favorite. I can hit the road with a smile on my face once I'm done with you."

_Damn. _Even in her defeated state, Regina's stomach clenched at the thought of waking up to Emma Swan between her legs. "I think you may be a sex addict, dear."

"I'm okay with that," Emma whispered against Regina's ear.

Emma cupped one of Regina's warm breasts and let the softness fill her flexing hand. Regina moaned and arched into the touch. "Emma," she mumbled almost desperately. "Don't start."

"Don't start? I never said I was finished, Regina. That's why you owe me."

Regina turned and faced the green-eyed beauty and their limbs locked into a natural entanglement. She leaned in and kissed the thin lips lightly—almost chastely—before voicing her thoughts. "It was the Police Officer video," she said meekly.

"Hmm?"

"You asked me which one I watched. It was the one of you as a police officer having sex with a Mrs. West." Regina scrunched her nose in embarrassment as the admission fell from her lips.

"Ohhh," Emma laughed. "People seem to really like that one. I don't really think it gained any traction until after I quit the business."

Regina leaned back in surprise. "You quit? When?"

Emma shrugged and leaned in to kiss Regina. "About a year about. That was my last movie."

Regina blinked stupidly and tried to process the new information. "So you're an _ex_-porn star?"

Emma laughed heartily at Regina's baffled tone. "I'll make a movie with you, if you want, but yeah I'm out of the business."

"Not a chance."

"Aw come on," the blonde teased, "take it from me, you've got great potential."

Regina slapped Emma's arm and rolled her eyes. "Idiot." She let the quiet settle over them before she spoke up again. "So . . . what do you do now?"

"I'm a bail bondsmen—or person—or whatever."

"So, you have a job and a boss you have to get back to tomorrow then, I'm assuming." It was ridiculous and utterly foolish, but the thought of this being their first and only night together made Regina sad.

Emma looked into those deep brown eyes and fought the urge to put the woman on her back.

Surely Lou didn't expect her to rush back just to be on standby. It wouldn't hurt to spend a few days taking in the local color. "I mean, it's not like I'm pushing a nine to five or anything. I could stay for a few days." She leaned in again and captured Regina's bottom lip between her teeth. "Maybe see what else your little town has to offer."

Regina closed her eyes and sighed against the blonde's tender lips. "I'm sure Henry would like that," she replied breathlessly.

"Yeah," Emma smirked cockily. "I'm sure _Henry _would."

FIN

* * *

**Bonus Notes:**

There you have it, folks! In case you couldn't tell, I had fun writing Emma's character. I must say, this is by far the raunchiest and most profanity-laced thing I've ever written. I hope you all are proud of yourselves. You created a monster. My alter ego drank in the comments and they were well-welcomed fuel to the fire. So as a bonus, I thought you'd like to read a bit of the conversation I had with my smut demon while constructing and revising this story. Normally I scale back that smutty voice in my head, but I was advised to let her out to play and well the results seem to be quite satisfying. You guys are awesome.

These conversations are real (we have them quite often) and I may need a separate collection just for the arguments I have with my inner self. I am in italics and Naqq (the voice in my head) is in bold.

_The plan was to wrap this up in two chapters. I still have to finish that other story._

**The fuck does that mean to me? The people have spoken!**

_We can just extend the last chapter and give the readers a superlative sex scene._

**Superlative? Bitch, this is not a spelling bee.**

_Hey! My skills come in handy too!_

**Sure, if I want a scene of them walking through meadows or some shit like that.**

_Well, they can't just say hi and start having sex! It's called setting the scene . . ._

**It's called hurry the fuck up and get naked.**

_Are we doing this or not?_

**Whatever. I have a list of demands.**

_I am so sick of you. This is not a hostage negotiation._

**I HAVE A LIST OF DEMANDS.**

_Take the bass out of your voice and just tell me what you want._

**One: It's gotta be longer. Two: They shall fuck like rabbits. Three: I need a squirt scene. Four: Someone needs to walk in on Emma blowing Regina's back out with a strap-on.**

_I . . .you cannot be serious. I'm not typing that!_

**Look, do I piss in your domain? No. She is a fucking PORN STAR! And somebody better eat somebody's ass or we're never writing another word again.**

_You need to calm the heck down. And I think you're obsessed with anuses._

**Ooh! Emma needs to fuck this woman's brains out. Fuck her until Regina FORGETS English and can only speak Spanish for a day! That's hot shit.**

_Ha! That is not happening! And I think I hate you a little._

**Hate you too, prissy bitch.**

(after writing a scene) . . ._We make a great team._

**Fuck yeah, we do!**


End file.
